Discussion 9

Just like all the hopeless romantics out there, I am stuck on the idea that I will one day marry the "love of my life" or "soul mate". Marriage for me is something very important and necessary. Once I get married I plan on not getting divorced and sticking with it, but of course things happen so we will see. For me, I see marriage as a partnership not only in love but to run a household and eventually have children. Once I have children I see the parents as working together to raise the children according to the parents values and providing a good upbringing for them. I dont think the husband should be the main financial supporter, especially this day in age, and plan to help financially for our family. However, when I have kids I plan on staying home with them until they start school because I dont like the idea of my kids in daycare everyday. The purpose of the family is to love and support eachother in life.
My idea of what marriage should be is different than the Masai culture in that marriage is basically how the women survive in the community. She would be nothing without her husband and sons because they own the cows and wealth in the family. If a womans husband dies it is in her best interest to become married to the brother or some relative of the husband or she will have nothing. That is very different from the U.S. standards because if a husband dies here the women continues living in the house, going to work, raising the children, and eventually may marry again when she finds somebody that she loves. Marriage is mostly by choice. Also, with a few excpetions marriage is mainly just for two people while in the Masai culture and many other cultures, men have many wives to attain wealth and an abundance of children. It was suprising to me that the Masai women could pick thier lovers outside of the marriage because I would have guessed it would be too dangerous for them or that there would be consequences. However, it was not suprising that they would seek out a lover outside of their marriage because they dont even know their husband hardly at all before marriage and I doubt that they have those kind of feelings for them. One part of the marriage that makes sense to me is that the men have many wives and children so they can take care of the house and animals. It makes it easier for a wive to work with a couple other wives to take care of their one husbands things. Mostly in Western society there isnt need for a lot of wives in the house because there is not that much work to be done, and if there is we just hire maids and landscapers. While cultures can be extremely different in how things are organized within marriage, there is good explanations for them because it helps the society function and is adapted to their ways of life.